– And Why I’m Speaking Now
Introduction
This is a story of living forwards and understanding backwards.
At the heart of this journey is the lasting impact of childhood sexual abuse. For decades, I kept silent. I was a single father, a businessman, a teacher—and beneath it all, a survivor. I didn’t write this book to relive the past. I wrote it to offer a hand to those still trapped in it.
The Silence We Carry
I swore myself to secrecy at age eight. And for a long time, I believed that silence had worked. But after a third failed marriage and the return of childhood memories, my inner world began to unravel. Depression, fear, and confusion took hold. What kept me going were my children—and the daily routines that tethered me to sanity
The Scope of the Problem
The statistics are staggering. In the UK, over 45,000 cases of child sexual abuse are reported annually. In the US, more than 42 million survivors live with the consequences. These numbers aren’t just data—they’re lives. And if we accept them, survivors may be one of the largest unspoken demographics on Earth. Yet the topic remains taboo. We just don’t talk.
Finding a Way Forward
I’m not a therapist or academic. I’m a father who found healing through Twelve-Step recovery. In those rooms, I learned that hiding pain is a survival strategy—but not a sustainable one. I began to recognize my patterns, let go of resentments, and acknowledge the child I once was. Slowly, I found tools for daily living and a community of others walking the same path.
Why I’m Speaking Now
I published Not Knowing: A Father’s Story to break my silence and offer hope. I’ve recently begun sharing reflections here on WordPress, especially in light of renewed public attention around CSA and the Epstein case. My goal isn’t to campaign—it’s to connect. If my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth telling.
A Quiet Invitation
If you’re a survivor, a parent, or someone who cares deeply about the long-term effects of trauma, I invite you to walk with me. This space is for reflection, honesty, and healing. I’ll be sharing excerpts, thoughts, and updates as I continue this journey.
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